Jamie arrived in the office a little bit late today, after waiting in for a plumber to arrive or somesuch... but when he did arrive he was jauntily whistling to himself as he took off his coat and began to make himself comfortable.
"I've got the moves like Jagger. I've got the moves like Jagger. I've got the moo-oo-oo-oo-ves like Jagger...."
Oh seriously? On a Monday morning?
Some context: my wife got up this morning at 4am to catch a flight to Paris. I appreciate that this, before I feel too sorry for myself, together with the fact that she was facing the prospect of a whole day in a hotel in CDG airport and a return flight that gets her back a little before 10pm tonight, is a pretty bad start to the week by anyone's standards. I didn't have to get up, after all, but the modest noise she made as she got ready to leave the house seemed to echo and amplify around the house. Although I did get another couple of hours in bed, I woke up with my alarm feeling tired and grumpy. In addition to my disturbed slumbers, Sunday's seven mile run really wiped me out, leaving me feeling fatigued and with a sore foot to go along with my sore knee.
Boy, was I looking forward to work..... and then some clown comes in singing that stupid, chirpy song as I'm still working my way through my first coffee of the day.
Some more context: over the long Easter weekend I spent in Den Haag, my friend's fiancee was busy shortlisting songs for their wedding playlist. A perfectly reasonable thing to do, you might think, except that when I say she was shortlisting songs, what I really mean is that she played this song over and over and over again... and when she wasn't playing it, she was singing it.
I don't really like Mick Jagger; I don't like Maroon 5; to be honest, I don't even really see the appeal of having moves like Jagger, as that basically seems to mean being a ravaged 68 year old man dancing like a particularly petulant and over-sexed rooster.
Maybe I got out of bed on the wrong side this morning, but that was pretty much the last song I wanted to hear anyone singing jauntily as they arrived for work.
"I hate that stupid song. Maroon 5 are shit and it's a shit song"
To be fair, Jamie cheerfully agreed with me...well, you can't deny the power of an earworm, no matter how toxic, can you? My other colleague - heavily pregnant and even grumpier than me - took immediate offence, however. She glared at me.
"I like Maroon 5"
...and that was the end of that conversation.
It is still a stupid, shitty, annoying song though... right? Seriously, this is not a Monday morning song. Under any circumstances, never mind in the office at the start of what is looking set to be a long and tedious week.
Well, I suppose I should look on the bright side... I might have had the indignity of this hideous song as an earworm for most of the day, but at least I didn't have to get up at 4am to spend most of a 16 hour working day in the concrete monstrosity that is Charles de Gaulle airport, right? That's a Monday that's pretty difficult to top. It's hard to see how that could be much worse.... unless she's had this in her head too, of course.....
A man I hate
13 hours ago