I started the process for drafting a will this evening. We've sort of been meaning to do this ever since we bought the house, more than a decade ago, but have only just got around to it. Perhaps we're feeling a touch more mortal since we both hit forty.
I was doing fine until I was asked about what funeral arrangements I wanted. They didn't want a full service order or anything like that -- we're playing The Crazy World of Arthur Brown's Fire, right? We're all agreed on that much at least. Maybe some Maiden too -- but they did want to know the basic stuff: what kind of casket? cremated? That kind of thing.
Clearly, I'm not religious. I also don't much care what happens to my corpse after I'm done with it. That said, I'm keen not to make too much of a dent on the environment either. No hardwood casket for me. Cremation and a cardboard box will do fine.
Hmm. I had an idea.
"Is it possible to make a provision in my will that my beneficiaries have to turn my ashes into some kind of jewellery and that they then have to wear said articles of jewellery for a set period of time if they are to inherit?"
"Yes. That would be a little unusual, but it's certainly possible"
Is it bad that I'm now thinking of how tasteless I could make that jewellery? Some kind of massive, hideous ring? A broach? Earrings? A tiara, perhaps? Something to remember me by?
Why would I come up with an idea like that? Well, I once killed a guy, captured his soul, resurrected him, killed him again and then enchanted his soul into a gem which I then gave to his girlfriend.
Oh no, wait.... that was in Skyrim.
I think this evening's will session was in the real world, but frankly I'm finding it harder and harder to tell. I don't think it matters much, to be honest.
A man I hate
4 hours ago