If you feel so inclined, you can speak to me on the phone tomorrow.
Just call 0845 733 2233 between 8pm and 2am, and you'll apparently have a 1 in 3,500 chance of speaking to me....
I'm manning a phone on one of Children in Need callcentres.
You'll also probably be able to see me on the TV as they are sending in the cameras apparently,. I know this because it means that I will have to wear a special t-shirt
(and there's me lining up my JESUS t-shirt)
I'm not saying you should watch it... it is hours and hours of tripe after all.... but you might like to hand over some cash here. It goes to some worthwhile stuff.
6 hours of my time? That's about £500s worth, I think....
Aren't I worthy?
If you watch, I'll be the one in nottingham with a frown (especially if someone "wacky" is anywhere near me). I'm actually toying with the idea of answering the phone as a minor celebrity.
"Hi, this is Cliff Richard, the peter pan of pop. thank you for calling children in need. Uh huh! praise the lord" etc.
What do you reckon?
And lest we forget, go and have a look at Fallujah in Pictures.... it's a war and people are dying. Some are soldiers, some are insurgents, some are civilians, some are children. All are human beings.
MAKE IT STOP.