Wednesday 8 June 2005

Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?

For some reason, my thoughts this evening have been dominated by the strange notion that we all live on one big street. With that in mind, let's have a quick wander down the road and peer in through a few people's front windows, shall we?

  • The lovely, generous-spirited Aravis has been having some rather disturbing dreams, but seems to have managed to escape before the cannibals living next door to me ate the rest of her leg. "The doctors are working on me and I know I'll be fine."
  • Charlie has been pondering the product being advertised in his latest piece of spam: Spur-M. A 500% increase in volume, apparently. "Geoffrey ---- 47, Male, UK. What you claim is wrong. My sperm volume didn't increase by 500%. It increased by ZILLION %. WOW! I can't believe this… I feel like I am back to 16 yrs."
  • The ever fragrant Ka has been pondering the start of her thirtieth year: "I want to be foolish forever! I want to be young forever! I want to be in rehearsals forever! Screw opening night! This is the show that must never ever go on!". Well, buggering off to Brazil is a pretty good start, eh?
  • Pop legend, Lord Bargain, has been BBQ-ing in a reflective mood: "Barbecue's at the Bargain residence are great fun (if you can stomach the pop music I'll subject you to) - the joints are rubbish but you might get a Tesco Finest sausage and a glass of half decent vino rosso... "Just say the word, Lord B, and we'll be there. As long as you stop quoting Phil Collins lyrics.
  • The Wombat is back, and is still as mad as a box of frogs. All is well with the world.
  • As well as revealing a mysterious past wreathed in Britpop history, The Urban Fox says thank you for the music, and from now on is going to be treating us all to a soundtrack to each post: "it might be chosen for obvious reasons, or it might not. It might be because the lyrics match the theme, or it might be because the sound evokes my mood at the time of writing. It might be for the purposes of lame punning or bathos. It might be because I'm listening to it while writing. Hell, it might be for no sensible reason at all." Great news. Here's hoping for some more insight into the most enigmatic bin-raider and nocturnal barker on the street, eh?
  • Sassy Jenni is back from a weekend with two young kids, and is sounding more than a little bit grouchy...."Waking up at 3am will result in everyone being crabby...and possibly easily irritated." Ah. Hard-earned wisdom, although I'm 31, and frankly I still think it's okay to kick my brother.
  • Flash is on the cusp of spilling the beans about She Who Changed Everything, but is threatening to turn it into a novel. Can't you blog it AND turn it into a novel? A chapter at a time, or something? Oh, and for God's sake go and listen to White Celebration, will you everyone, before Flash does himself some damage?
  • Di at PeepsSheep is struggling with her back: "I saw lots of people in wheelchair's today and that reminded me how this time last week I was mentally choosing what colour chair I would like". As a fellow sufferer, I feel you pain, tiger, I really do. And don't do down your photography either. Or your painting. I keep meaning to pick up one of your fantastic t-shirts. Do you still do them?
  • Mark has been musing again: "Masturbation isn't a replacement for you, or a preference over you. It's a thing men do. We've been doing since the dawn of time, and possibly earlier. There are times when a man has to scratch an itch". Ah, spread the word, brother. You and Flash should exchange wanking theories sometime.
  • Nothing from Tom tonight - he's out for dinner with Girl Person and Tony & Katrina Gaunt ("she of the beautiful, turquoise eyes").
  • Statue John is having a Mrs. Mac special, as over at the Ultimate Olympian, Mrs Mac's son presumably curls up in embarassment and gets on with his triathlon training - he has some crucial lycra purchases to make and some photos to take, I reckon.
I think we're about caught up now (yeah, I know I haven't done everybody, but it's late. Next time, eh?). God. That was actually quite hard work. Next time draw your damn curtains.


I think I just heard hippy troubadour Devendra Banhart being used to flog cathedral city cheese. What a strange and wonderful world we live in. And with that: bed. Perchance to dream (although not of my cannibal neighbours, eh Aravis?).

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