Thursday 1 February 2007

bright and early for the daily races (going nowhere, going nowhere)

I've been sat in front of a blank document on my work laptop almost all evening now. I fired it up pretty much the second I got through the door from football, and I've been sat in front of it ever since. It wasn't exactly fun to start with, but after about 4 hours it's really starting to get on my tits.

I've got a big deadline tomorrow. Before I go on holiday, I have to deliver a document to my boss's boss for a big presentation that she's doing in front of the board next week.

It's proving to be troublesome.

So if anyone's got any ideas about what the high level requirements for phase two of the merger are, could they please get in touch?

I'm fucked if I know.


  1. 1. The ability to be as vague as possible so as to confuse the largest number of people in your organization.

    2. The organization of "mandatory" pep rallies to instill the new corporate "brand" on the old company employees.

    3. If not already complete, the total decimation of a retirement savings plan.

    4. Encouraging backbiting and demoralization of your employees through the use of "team" building and competition between departments.

    Well, that's been my experience anyway.

  2. I'm pretty sure it involves running something up the flagpole and seeing who salutes.

    Hope you got it sorted, dear Swissflap.

  3. 1. Unified corporate directory.
    2. Data dictionary.
    3. Review of data processing locations.
    4. Analysis of systems to identify best in class and opportunites for rationalisation.
    5. Operational responsibility matrix for new organisation.
    6. Supplier review.
    7. Integrate processing schedules.
    8. New business interfaces.
    9. Standardisation of processes.
    10. Quality standards.

  4. more variety in the vending machines?

  5. Don't forget to tangiblise your deliverables.

  6. wot anonymous said. hope you ran with that.

  7. Improved service delivery, commitment to the corporate vision and values, ensuring all staff realise their value and closing the deal at the most opportune moment all work for me...