This has been one of my best months ever personally, but it's also been one of my worst.
Today was a really bad day, and at one point I was shaking with anger and frustration and close to tears. When I got home at a little past 7pm, all I wanted to do was to get out and work some of these frustrations out on a run. The weather didn't look great and it was starting to get dark, but I really needed to get outside into the fresh air and punish my body. Admittedly, part of the reason I wanted to do this is because I am now hopelessly addicted to exercise and need the endorphins to maintain my mood....but I also like it because it gives me time to think and to work issues through in my head.
I won't say that my 35 minute run alongside the river has given me all the answers or completely turned around the way I'm feeling, but it has definitely picked me up. When I was a little over halfway around, the heaven's opened and it began to absolutely pour with rain. I absolutely revelled in it. The feeling of the rain on my skin thrilled me and made me run faster and harder. It was brilliant.
I don't know if my iPod has a sense of irony, but it was at this exact moment that it started to play "Dry the Rain" by the Beta Band..... and it was perfect. I picked up my knees, picked up my pace and kicked for home. I still have problems that I need to deal with, but I feel as though I've been given another burst of energy to try and work them through.
Isn't it funny how little things like exercise and music can affect your mood so much?
Perhaps it's just as well that I don't have any Joy Division on my iPod shuffle, eh?
Pandemic Legacy Season 2: April
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