Thursday 28 February 2008

talking like a moron....

I know it's ridiculous that I should even be listening to rubbish like this, never mind rising to the bait... but I've just been listening to Radio 1's coverage of the NME Awards this evening. Only whilst I was driving home from the supermarket, for sure, but I was listening to it nonetheless. I don't really like the NME, and I don't really see the point of these awards, but it was quite nice to hear Nicky Wire talking about Manic Street Preachers winning the "Godlike Genius" award, followed by "Motorcycle Emptiness". Now that's a record that should be played on the radio a lot more often. I was just arriving home and not really paying any attention to the radio when Annie Mack mentioned that there hadn't really been any controversy... until Faris Rotter arrived on the stage.

In case you are lucky enough to be ignorant of who this talentless twat is, let me tell you that he is the singer with The Horrors (pictured above). They are a band who somehow managed to get themselves attention in the music press (yes, that would be you, NME....) in spite of the fact that they have absolutely no musical ability and absolutely nothing to say. They have released one 30 minute long album with precisely no redeeming features whatsoever, and yet somehow this naked emperor is still being giving the oxygen of publicity at events like this. As if there wasn't enough reason to dislike the man and his band, he also happens to have attended my old school. Yes, he's a public school wanker with a monied background playing at being a rockstar. Oh look at their amusing band names! (Spider Webb? Oh for fuck's sake. Is that the best you could come up with? It's hardly Rat Scabies is it? Faris Rotter? Like a 6 foot 7 streak of silver spooned piss like you has anything in common with Johnny Rotten...your father is a neurosurgeon for God's sake.)

Anyway. Our friend Faris was onstage to hand out the award for Best New Band. The award was won by The Enemy, whose album "We'll Live and Die in These Towns" is absolutely brilliant. As he handed over the award, Faris - the little tinker - decided to suggest that The Enemy were:

"True icons of british music. They're young, they're beautiful and they laugh in the face of natural selection".

The Enemy took it in pretty good spirit, but way to hand out an award, idiot. When asked about his comments, he suggested that he didn't think the Enemy had been offended (which they didn't look) because they wouldn't have understood the insult.


I realise it's pointless being annoyed by this, but The Enemy have achieved far more with one album than I think the Horrors ever will, but he still thinks it's somehow okay to slag them off as they collect their award, neatly ruining their moment and making it somehow about him.

Let's compare and contrast:

The Enemy - Away From Here, Had Enough, Aggro

The Horrors - Sheena is a Parasite (see what they did with the title there?), She is the New Thing, Count in Fives

I rest my case: they're shit and he's a twat. It's about a whole lot more than wearing tight jeans and having big hair and a big mouth isn't it? Isn't it? No? Well it bloody should be.



Whitesnake and Def Leppard are touring together
? Really? The dream ticket, together at last?

Is anyone else excited by that?

Ah..... Just me then.


  1. a few things...

    coverdale/page is the last i got of whitesnakey sound. thats in 1992/3 i think.

    i've been meaning to get a cd of hysteria for ages. my lp is sat in the garage warping.

    As for the band you dislike, and journalism...well i can talk on this a little.

    I have given up on papers, largely because of an experiment I conducted. Every morning I scoured certain websites for news before leaving for work. These were not 'big brand' sites, but rather mid-range brands. They gave interesting stories. Then I plugged directly into the AP and Reuters feeds.

    During the train ride to work, I'd buy a different paper each day. It was then I started to see things that I hadnt noticed before.

    It started with 'trends' of stories, then snippets of information that looked familiar, and then shockingly the same-text embedded within some guff.

    What I discovered was this: papers essentially have lost the roving reporter, the real journalist. Instead you have writers, who pick off streams who have 'hot hits statistics' rather than innovate.

    You will see, for example, lift stories from who lift the story from reuters via yahoo (allegedly of course)

    So NME talking about a crap band, well its cos they havent got anyone good enough to get face time with artists of merit anymore. So they either pick a reuters story, or 'wooo' a simple band who need NME. Ironically the relationship becomes symbiotic!

  2. I've just watched the awards on the telly, and to be honest, the fact they're making this out as a "controversy" is a bit ridiculous as nobody really reacted to Faris at all. He was clearly spoiling to say something exciting from the moment he came onstage, and seemed annoyed when his co-presenter cut him off to read out the nominations. He was also obviously very pleased with himself for his witticism, which no one else really seemed to give a shit about (apart from me, apparently).

    Mind you, he did make the Enemy look like munchkins. He was at least a foot taller than all of them.

    He's still a tit though.


  3. I'm in agreement my friend.

    The Enemy are very deserving winners of best new band & their album is a corker.

    And he sounds like a reet proper tosser.

  4. What are the chances our Faris hails from Kilbracken eh? Jack and the band must be so jealous

    They need to add some international dates for that, although just one – in Hong Kong will also do me.


  5. I had the misfortune to see The Horrors on the NME Indie Rock Tour last year. Their performance, all strobes and theatrical posturing, did absolutely nothing to disguise their complete lack of talent. Truly one of the most cringe-worthy performances I have ever seen.

  6. they're playing the NEC on june 18th. i was seriously tempted to go but..

    I)I've seen whitesnake before and they were hilarious but hackneyed dreadful rubbish

    II)I've seen Def leppard before and they were fantastic - quite possibly the best sounding gig I've ever been to, but far too many brilliant songs for a 2 hour headlining set, let alone a support slot ansd...

    iii)Queensryche are playing wolerhampton the same night, playing the enitre of operation mindcrime (I and II). And I've never seen queensryche. So thats an easy choice to make...


  7. according to the times, NME could be folding within months. i love the enemy album too, never listened to the horrors but always got the impression they were style over substance. i have to admit, i'm quite pleased about whitesnake and def leppard touring - they're 2 massive guilty pleasures of mine!

  8. I'll be a little sad if the NME folds, for sure, but it is shit, and it doesn't have a God-given right to exist.

    All you need to know about the Horrors: Faris is apparently dating Peaches Geldof. Actually, that's all you need to know about Peaches too.

    And I've got a ticket to the Leppard gig. Let there be rock!

    (nice to see you Hels)