Wednesday 12 October 2011

boss in my shoes....

So, there I was, minding my own business in the office, when I was startled by an ominous noise.


Having heard elephants foraging, judging by the approaching racket, I could only imagine that this was a herd of something much larger stampeding towards the staff shop. I stepped to one side and cautiously looked behind me for the source of the noise.

It was a tiny girl wearing enormous, clumping great big Frankenshoes. Shoes so big that it seemed almost impossible that she could lift her feet off the floor to take a step. Apparently she had worked up enough momentum – perhaps with a downhill start or a push – that she could stamp her way noisily down the office, and she clumped past me and quickly out of sight.

Big shoes, then. Also astonishingly ugly shoes. Shoes so appallingly unattractive that I am totally unable to fathom the appeal… and yet they seem to be increasingly popular, judging by the ladies around here, anyway.

Can anyone explain? Are these hideous artefacts in any way appealing to men, or are they somehow empowering for the wearer?

I have to know. All thoughts welcome.

Bafflingly, the alternative female footwear trend of the moment appears to be the absolute opposite of the Frankenshoe: the ballet pump, sometimes backless, worn in all weather conditions.

Je ne comprends pas.

…which is funny, as usually I just GET footwear trends*.


* C. laughs at this and says that I am a shoe conservative, but this is clearly nonsense based upon a dislike I had of a hideous pair of wedged espadrilles she insisted on wearing for years.  It's called taste, dear.....


  1. I think a lot of shorter women like having the extra height these shoes provide. There are some that are basically stilettos but the ball of the foot is on a platform (similar to the second pic) that aren't bad (unlike the second pic). The design is conservative and you probably wouldn't pick up on the platform right away. Those don't bother me to look at.

    The ones you've shown, though, are hideous. You'd have to pay me large sums of money to wear them.

    That being said, I don't think I've ever seen a more interesting pair of shoes than those in the first pic. Just... wow.

    You know what I hate? The gladiator shoe trend. I cringe when I see it, especially when paired with a really nice dress. Way to ruin an outfit! They aren't so bad when paired with jeans, but seeing a gorgeous dress paired with clunky gladiator short boots hurts me almost as much as seeing a mullet.

    Here's one that made me laugh after reading what you wrote. It's a combination of the two types of shoe you complained of- the platform and the ballet!

  2. I think I agree with C. Really what do you know about footwear? I bet you don't know a Jeffery West from an Oliver Sweeney so Laboutin, Jimmy Choo et al can forget it!!!

  3. Could these actually be some manner of extreme corn treatment device?