52% intelligent. 9% modest. More monkey than bear.
Monday 30 January 2012
man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long....
Now, I know that this won't come as a surprise to many of you, but it turns out that I am quite at the cutting edge of fashion.
There I was, just returned from my holidays, sat in a local deli eating a chorizo, emmental and jalapeno panini, drinking coffee and browsing the Sunday papers, when the extent of my fashion credentials became suddenly and startlingly apparent.
Now, I don't read the Sunday Times much as a rule, considering it to be not worth using to line the cat's litter tray, but as the sports section was available right next to me, I picked it up to catch up on the rugby news that I might have missed whilst away. Sitting next to me, chomping on a coronation chicken and mango chutney ciabatta, C. was browsing the Style supplement. Suddenly, she nearly choked on her sandwich and shoved the glossy pages underneath my nose.
Reluctantly putting aside the sport for a moment, I glanced at the proffered page and was slightly taken aback to read of the latest trend in male grooming, apparently a reaction to the pampered, gelled metrosexuals who had, up until now, apparently been taking over the world....... beards.
Yes, the "Urban Lumberjack" look is so now, my friends. All the right people - and Ben Affleck - are rejecting the daily grind of the shave and are growing beards as a rejection of all those waxy-faced, Jack Wills garbed, overly coiffed, perfumed automatons. The article went on to say that to get this look, you should get yourself a beanie and a pair of tan brogue boots.
Now, hold on a minute:
I bought myself a pair of tan brogues back in mid-December (mine are Loakes rather than the Malton Trickers that the Sunday Times suggested, but I am a Northampton boy, so....) and I stopped shaving at around about the same time... and as I generally wear a beanie at this time of year, I reckon that this pretty much makes me the originator of this whole trend. If you read that article on Sunday and you stopped shaving in the hope of getting MY look, then you are so behind the curve, my friends. But not to worry: there's no shame in being a follower as you must understand that not everyone can be a bleeding edge fashion innovator.
I feel so powerful.
If I can bring back the beard, maybe I can bring back anything! If the editor of Style Magazine happens to be reading this, then let me give you a sneak preview that I'm thinking that next I might go for the Art Garfunkel balding Afro look.
You laugh now, but come March and you'll all be wanting one.....