As a runner, I often wear a lot of lycra. I assure you, this is not just for reasons of pleasure. I'll have you know that it's a very practical material.... Anyway. One of the difficulties with lycra - amongst its many, many advantages - is that it doesn't have many pockets.
When I run, although I don't often take too many things with me, I do need to carry a few bits and bobs: my iPhone I carry in a case that I wear on my left arm. It tracks my runs and it holds my running playlist, so it's pretty much essential, but I've got that covered. I also need to carry a key or two: my door key and occasionally my car key. When I'm out with running club, I also need to carry my gym membership card, my running club loyalty card (I'm due a t-shirt next week!) and maybe also my cash card.
Now look: I don't want you thinking that I'm one of those guys who goes out running in a pair of lycra shorts that don't leave a great deal to the imagination. No, I'm afraid I'm far too demure for that and I will always - always - wear a normal pair of shorts over the top. Most of these shorts have pockets, but not ones that you would entirely trust to hold a house key or a cash card.
Pretty tedious story so far, right? Oh, I assure you, it only gets duller from here.
So I was looking for a storage solution for my stuff when I was out running. I don't really want to wear a fanny pack around my waist, so I was looking at little wallet-type things that you clip onto your shoes. I don't entirely trust a velcro fastening for this kind of thing, especially not on the part of my body that moves the most when I'm out running, so I was specifically looking for one with a zip fastening.
I found one from an Amazon vendor (who turned out to be Sports Direct) for 79p (plus postage) and everyone was happy. Especially when they also sent me one of those huge, chavvy Sports Direct mugs into the package for free too. I had a bit of bother with the courier, but 79p and a free mug, you know?
...except that, when it turned up, it had a velcro fastening.
I'm sure it's fine, but I find myself intensely irritated by the whole thing. The whole deal cost me less than a fiver, but I wouldn't have bought the damn thing at all if I had known it didn't have a zip. But at the same time, it hardly seems worth the trouble to send it back as my time is worth more to me than the hassle of packing it up and returning it. I'm not going to use it; I'm not going to return it. And all because they couldn't be bothered to get their product description right. Grrr. I've emailed them, but I don't really expect that a company like Sports Direct will be much into goodwill gestures. Have you ever seen Mike Ashley? Plus, they advertise their actual shops as offering 24 hour delivery - presumably meaning their website. Am I the only person who finds that irritating? Surely, even if their website was available 24x7 - which it won't be - they will only actually deliver when the postal service and couriers are operating, right? And who would want a parcel delivering at 3 in the morning anyway? Or am I over-thinking this?
So. Wrist wallets, anyone? Zipped, obviously.
It's a thrill a minute reading this blog, innit? Bring on the book deal!
where have I been? the answer will SHOCK you
15 hours ago