Thursday 3 April 2014


My working life has changed dramatically over the last few months.  Where before I might find myself reluctantly sucked into a conversation about non-functional requirements, these days I am much more likely to find myself asked what constitutes "attractive but not easy" clothing for a date.  As changes go, I have to say that I quite like it.

Yesterday, we got talking about the ten male features that women like the best.  Someone had been reading an article, and they wanted to get me involved to see what I thought.  We're an inclusive team like that, you see.

Anyway.  The list.

10. Muscular chest  / shoulders.  Apparently, when asked what they think women find attractive, lots of men put this right at the top.  I can't say it's something that's ever really been an issue for me, to be honest.

9. Penis.  Surprise, surprise.... men rate this a lot higher (at 3).  As the article says, women take a different view: "you might have a cool red sports car or even a stretch limo, but if the suspension’s shot and the ride’s too uncomfortable, well, that’s more of a deal-breaker. It’s okay if a guy has a mid-range vehicle that’s maybe dented on one side, especially if it drives like nobody’s business".  No comment.

8. Neck.  If you say so.

7. Hair... although apparently bald is ok on the right person.  By which I assume they mean Jason Statham.

6. Height / Tallness.  Self-evidently a desirable asset, no?

5. Long Legs.  Tend to go with height, I would have thought...

4. Eyes.  Apparently laughter crinkles are especially good too.

3. Flat stomach. "When a woman is admiring your flat stomach (that goes hand in hand with a guy who’s not sitting around drinking beer or playing too many video games), she’ll want to dip her hand along its concave edges, and that very well might lead to…well, you know."

2. Slimness.  Men thought women would vote for their muscular arms here, but apparently guns are less important than being slender.  Agreed!

1. Buttocks.  Men foolishly voted this at 8, but apparently the girls are all over it.

Once we'd been through the list, my colleagues inevitably asked me to list out the features that I find attractive in a woman.  I thought for a moment.

There was a confused silence and an exchanging of looks.
"Not breasts?"

Come to think of it, these conversations might be more complicated than the ones I used to have about non-functional requirements......