Thursday, 20 October 2005

But we cannot cling to the old dreams anymore

I've been having a bad week with the Weirdy Tingles. You might remember that the MRI scans revealed a patch of inflammation on my cerivical spinal cord, and that it was this swelling that was causing my symptoms: the tingles in down my left side, the weakness across my shoulders and the numbness across my body (see the inside of my head here!). The best advice that medical science could offer me was to sit tight and hope that it went away. The theory behind this was that they would probably never know what caused the swelling, and that if it was just "one of those things", a viral infection perhaps, then it might just go away and never come back.

There's just one other thing though. It might also be the first symptom of a wider problem, and I apparently have a 1 in 5 chance that it's MS.

Given what you know of my mildy obsessive personality, you might be surprised to hear that I'm actually not all that worried about it. Why worry? There's a good chance that it isn't, but if it is MS, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, so it seems to me that it's a waste of energy to think otherwise. If it happens to me, it happens.

....and besides, if it *is* MS, then the "Life & Critical Illness" insurance that was a condition of my mortgage will kick in, and apparently marijuana is thought by some reputable medical sources to be useful in the alleviation of the symptoms, so it's not all bad news..... (how's that for looking on the bright side?)

Only kidding. I am really not obsessed with the idea that this could be something nasty. I'm just getting a little bit bored of the symptoms and the not knowing, is all.

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