Tuesday, 6 December 2005

I got no distance left to run

If NaNoWriMo has taught me anything, it has taught me that I need to find a way to get more writing done. I get a lot of pleasure and satisfaction out of writing, and I think it's something that I'm relatively good at (although you are probably better placed to make an objective judgement about that than I am). One of the reasons that I blog is that I find it provides me with a creative outlet that my job does not. NaNoWriMo was more of the same, with the crucial difference that instead of posting whatever sprang to mind in bite-sized chunks, it forced me to sit down and write the longest single piece of sustained writing I have ever done. At times it was a bit of a slog, but completing it has given me a real sense of achievement.

What I have also realised over the few days since I smashed through the 50,000 word barrier is that I need to do something about my job. Throughout November I was punching the clock, doing my hours and saving my mental energies for my novel. Now that I have come out the other side, it is all too clear to me that I am wasting myself in my current job, and that either they need to pay me a lot more money than they currently do to put up with it, or I need to look for something else. But what? I'm sure I can find another job doing basically the same thing, but I'm not sure that's what I want. I'd like to do something a bit more stimulating; more creative. In an ideal world I'd like to do something with my writing - even if that was unpaid and alongside my existing job. I just need to give myself something more fulfilling to do before I wake up one day and realise that I've wasted my life in a dead-end job in a souless corporation.

Now don't get me wrong: I know that I'm not J.D.Salinger. I am pleased with my NaNo novel, but mainly I'm pleased that I did it, not because I am convinced it is fabulous. I am under absolutely no illusions about the greatness of my output....

....But I think that if I work at it, I can improve.

But where the hell do I go from here? I don't know what to do. I really don't.

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