Monday 3 April 2006

and what a scummy man...

Just before I left the office this evening to go for a swim, I nipped down to the toilets to pop my contact lenses in. As I was standing in front of the mirror, I heard a flush go in one of the cubicles behind me. Not so unusual, I think you'll agree, but then the lock on the door went, a guy stepped out and walked right past me and out of the door.

Yes, that's right. He walked right out of the door. He didn't even *pretend* to wash his hands either... you know, that thing that people do when they show their hands to a running tap, but barely get them wet, and certainly don't get them anywhere near the soap. I know you know what I'm talking about....

Gross, right? It's bad enough when someone has a piss and they don't wash their hands, but somehow a number 2 seems so much filthier, doesn't it?

I didn't know the guy, but it's just occurred to me that I might one day find myself being introduced to him in a meeting. So when he holds his hand across the table to me, what do I do? Refuse to shake it?

"I'm sorry, but I can't shake hands with you because I saw you leaving the toilets once after taking a dump and you didn't wash your hands... so I'll pass thanks"

Now that would be an ice-breaker; the start of a beautiful working relationship. You can almost see the other people in the meeting who have already been introduced to him surreptitiously wiping their hands on their trousers, can't you?

Lovely. Nice guy - you'd like him.

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