I'm tired. For whatever reason, my exercise schedule for last week really seems to have taken it out of me: my muscles feel sore, my knee is aching, my hips feel stiff and I'm bit fatigued generally, especially across my arms and shoulders. I actually caught myself hobbling around the office today like an old man. Not a good look.
Good job, then, that's it's my day off exercise today. After I finished my run yesterday lunchtime, the glorious prospect of 24 whole hours off stretched out splendidly in front of me.
I even managed to escape the office promptly.
It's all good.... except that as I stepped out into the glorious early evening sunshine, the thought immediately occurred - oh insidious temptation! - that I should perhaps make the most of the beautiful weather and the longer daylight hours by going out for a run as soon as I got home.
This is a stupid idea on (at least) two levels: number one is that I really do need to give my body a break, but I also know all too well how my brain works. If I exercise on my day off (today), I will subsequently feel the compulsion to exercise on the new "spare" day that appears in my training schedule... so not only would I not be taking a day off exercise today, but I would effectively not be taking a day off at all. I don't know why my brain works like this, but it does. It's not that I would even really say that I enjoy running, in the sunshine or otherwise, it's just that I have this compulsion to punish myself and will feel lazy if I don't act on the impulse as soon as the impulse emerges. People sometimes ask me where I get the motivation to go running even on a dark, rainy day.... the answer certainly isn't down to my superior willpower, as I often lack the strength to resist that compulsion, no matter how crappy I feel. Is that what will power is, or is that just mental illness?
The good news, for today at least, is that I've managed to resist the urge and instead of slipping on the lycra and running shoes when I got home, I've put on a hoodie and a pair of slouchy trousers. I'd like to think that this is because I'm getting wiser as well as just older, but the reality is that really am just too tired today.
....and I'm going to play Skyrim instead.
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