Tuesday 25 February 2014

I really don't know and I really don't care....

One of my team at work is mildly disgruntled about the fact that her birthday this year falls on Good Friday.  She is, it seems, unwilling to share her twenty-third birthday with Jesus' death day.
"But this day isn't about Jesus.  It's about me!"
"Well, to be fair, Jesus got there first"

[it's probably worth noting at this point, before we get any further into this conversation, that neither of us believe in God.....]

"No he didn't!"
"Well, yes he did."
"What year were you born?"
"What do you mean?"
"What year were you born?"
"1991.  Why?"
"One thousand nine hundred and ninety-one years after what?"
".....never mind."
"If it's my birthday on Good Friday, can I have my Easter Eggs then instead of waiting for Easter Sunday?"
"Um.  I suppose so.  You can eat them whenever you want for all I care.  I'm pretty sure God isn't all that bothered when you eat your chocolate eggs in memory of the horrible death suffered by His son"
"What are you talking about?  God wasn't Jesus' dad!"
"Um.  Yes he was.  That's why Jesus is commonly known as The Son of God....."
"But I thought it was the Holy Ghost!"

At this point, I considered it wise not to try to explain the concept of the Holy Trinity, but it seems that my colleague wasn't finished with God yet....

"Did you invite God to your wedding?"
"We had a civil ceremony, so not really... but as He's ominpresent, there's probably not much we could do to stop Him attending."
"Oh, right.  I wouldn't invite him to mine"

To be fair to her, she's interested in learning and really likes to talk about this sort of stuff.  Since I joined the team, she's been happy to learn about Schr√∂dinger's cat, non-Newtonian liquids, how liquid helium can be superchilled to the point where it can pass through solid glass.... all sorts of stuff.  Only on Monday, we had a conversation about time travel.  I outlined this scenario:

A mysterious stranger hands me the blueprints to a time machine. I build the machine, disguise myself and travel back in time to hand my younger self the blueprints. Where do the blueprints originate?

By the look on her face, it quickly became apparent that she wasn't quite ready for Multiple Universes, so I told her that as long as her mum kissed her dad at the Enchantment Under the Sea ball, everything will work out okay.

Turns out she hasn't seen Back to the Future, either.


  1. Here's a funny Easter-related story for you:

    A couple of years ago I broke my leg. The week before Easter, my doctor told me to start putting weight on it. As I hadn't put any weight on it for over a month, it hurt quite a bit when I'd try. My wife is Catholic and wanted to attend Easter Vigil Mass (10:30pm on Easter Eve), and brought me with her. We sat in the back, so I'd have room to stretch out my leg in its walking boot and be able to keep my crutches out of the way. During Mass, I kept standing up when we were supposed to. She told me I didn't have to, due to my injury. I didn't tell her that I was using that time to slowly get used to putting weight on the leg. By the end of Mass, I was able to stand with all my weight on that leg, with no pain or discomfort at all. As we left Mass, She led the way into the vestibule and I followed. I waited for her to get a few yards away, then got her attention said, "look at me," then lifted my crutches off the floor and took a few steps toward her, at which point I said, "I'm healed!"

    She did NOT find it nearly as funny as I did.

  2. that's totally awesome, Dan! Good work!

  3. you went with her! What more do these people want?

  4. to be fair, Masses can be quite long (as far as I know, with my heathen upbringing). it could have healed in that time...

    SwissLet - you work in the FUNest place!