Earworms of the Week
Apologies in advance, but I've had a right motley pile of shit floating around in my head this week. Don't say I didn't warn you.
"When A Child is Born" - Johnny Mathis
I've always had a soft-spot for this ridiculous record, but I think that's mainly down to the talky bit in the middle:
"And all of this happens because the world is waiting,
Waiting for one child
Black, white, yellow, no-one knows
But a child that will grow up and turn tears to laughter,
Hate to love, war to peace and everyone to everyone's neighbour
And misery and suffering will be words to be forgotten, forever"
Beautiful, isn't it? We're actually singing this at choir as part of our Christmas season, and it's a source of great regret to me that the talky bit has been excluded. Everytime we get to a bit where we are just ahhhing and oooiing, I keep hoping that our musical director will turn to face the audience and just get stuck into it. Perhaps he will....
"Bump n Grind" - R.Kelly
A video of R.Kelly has surfaced this week of the great man in a sauna somewhere, fully clothed and surrounded by slightly bemused looking sweaty men in towels. Out of nowhere, and really loudly, he starts singing this song. MY MIND'S TELLING ME NO.... BUT MY BODY, MY BODY.....Not at all awkward, R.Kelly. Not at all. This isn't even my favourite video of R.Kelly. Not by a long shot. Here he is explaining the concept of an echo.
You know, in case you didn't know what an echo was... in which case, that was probably super helpful.
Thanks R. Kelly! I knew you wouldn't leave us hanging.
"Israelites" - Desmond Dekker
A brilliant song, of course. There is also a small part of me that, whenever I hear this song, always starts to sing the Vitalite advert with the singing sunflowers. Ooooooh, oooooh. Vitalite!
"Romeo & Juliet" - Dire Straits
This will always remind me of skiing across from La Rosiere into Italy, finding this song blasting out as we skiied down to the bottom. It took me a long time to appreciate Dire Straits. I was just starting to get into music when "Brothers In Arms" came out, and like everybody else in the whole world, I had a copy. Well, who didn't like "Money for Nothing"? But apart from the title track, I'm not sure if I could name another song on that record, and I think what they were overshadowed what they actually sounded like. When I came back to them, it was this song that was the key for me. Not that I can listen to them without hearing this shred, which is terrifyingly accurate.
"Rehab" - Amy Winehouse
"Son of a Preacher Man" - Dusty Springfield
Next time you listen to that Jack White and Alicia Keys Bond theme (if you've ever listened to it again after the credits of the film), then spare a moment to think that it was a late replacement for a proposed Amy Winehouse theme. She would have been perfect, no? Such a shame. I'm not sure that Dusty would have carried off a Bond theme in quite the same way, but she does have one of the best voices ever, in my opinion. Obviously, this particular song is probably most famous for being on the Pulp Fiction soundtrack, but if you haven't ever listened to "Dusty In Memphis", then you really need to get onto that....
"D.I.S.C.O." - Ottawan
"Brown Girl in the Ring" - Boney M
I totally baffled someone in my office today by singing "D.I.S.C.O.". She's in her early twenties and she had absolutely no idea of the song and just thought I'd gone completely mad. I think my other colleagues also thought that, but at least they knew the song.
She is D, desirable
She is I, irresistible
She is S, super sexy
She is C, such a cutie
She is O, oh, oh, oh
They might well have wondered why it had popped into my head, but I don't really know the answer to that either. That song then led into Boney M..... and I started to wonder about the lyrics.
Brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la
There's a brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la la
Brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la
She looks like a sugar in a plum
Is that racist? Is it gibberish? Both? Well, either way, it was another song that had some colleagues instinctively joining in when I started to sing it, and the others just looking at us in horror. I suppose you can understand why, really.
"Distant Past" - Everything Everything
I'm not joking about having a button that says "distant past" when I press it. The keyboard player for Everything Everything had one at Rock City on Wednesday night when they played this song, and I want one for use in casual conversation. Ideally with a Star Trek tri-corder sound effect. I reckon there would be a market for that. Not just me, anyway. (Judging by the comments on the video to this song on YouTube, it's on the FIFA 2016 game soundtrack. Distant Past? Does that soundtrack English football or just the fans?)
"Don't It Make You Feel Good" - Stefan Dennis
There are so many things right about this record, that it's hard to know why it wasn't the start of a career that really put Kylie into the shade. That leather jacket! The up-turned collar! The pout! The chicken wire fence in the basement! The snarl! The guitar solo! It's essentially the perfect storm of singer, song and accompanying video. Paul Robinson is still in Neighbours, I believe... minus a leg? Is that right? This song is GOLD. Speaking of Neighbours, one of my colleagues showed me a personal video that Alan Fletcher - Dr. Karl Kennedy - made for his wife on her birthday. Apparently someone had signed her up for his fanclub, which is completely free, and he sent her a birthday card in the post and recorded a message just for her that he posted on her facebook page. What a legend! 25 years to the week since Scott and Charlene got married, apparently. Does that make you feel old?
And with that beautiful selection of songs, I'm off to go and spend a few hours on the Children in Need call centre. Ring in to make a donation, and you never know, you might just end up talking to me. Be sure to say hello.
Have a good weekend, y'all.